Jobie

Ugh.  I am struggling today.  We took our dog, Jobie, to the vet earlier this week and it is not looking so good.  The tests result show that nothing good is going on, but they are not conclusive as to what exactly is the problem.  And now I am going back and forth with this decision of putting her down now or waiting it out until it gets worse.  This just sucks.

In a way, Jobie is my first baby.  Yes, I understand that she is not a human baby.  But she is my first dog baby.  I have had other dogs before.  But Jobie is the dog that I picked out alone.  I was in college and dealing with some pretty heavy crap in my life and I saw this puppy that needed me just as much as I needed her.  She was not the most playful puppy and she was afraid of everything.  She was an old soul even at the tender age of 12 weeks.  But together we healed our wounds and made quite a life for ourselves - living in 4 different cities, starting new jobs, dating different boyfriends, getting married, having a baby.  She was with me through it all.

And now that this may be the end of her life, I feel as if I am failing her.  I don't know what to do.  I don't know what she would want me to do.

I don't believe in putting pets through a battery of tests, medicines, and procedures just to extend their lives a little more, especially when the quality of their lives may not be all that great.  Sometimes in that way, I think we treat pets better than we do people. But when do you say when?  At what point do you say that the current quality of life is not enough?  I have never wished that she could talk more than I wish right now.